It’s late on a Friday night and I’m writing about quite possibly the single dumbest thing I’ve ever read, courtesy of Jeff Miller of the OC Register.
The headline: “Don Mattingly looks like smart one now, not Dodgers execs he left behind” should’ve stopped me from reading, but, whatever. My bad.
Sure, the masses might be into this kind of thing, but spewing narrative like this with cheap shots as Miller does throughout the article is the kind of thing I’d expect from a write who just started at Rant Sports, not someone paid — rather well, mind you — to do this:
It’s fair to question the wisdom of taking a job with the Miami Marlins, who, somewhat incredibly, have been managed by seven men since the middle of 2011.
Yes, Jeff, taking a job in Miami where fans and writers openly question whether the owner is literally stealing from the city is easily the smartest move of the offseason.
Last we checked, rumors have been swirling around the Marlins about their trying to trade away Jose Fernandez. You know, quite possibly the best pitcher in baseball when healthy who also happens to be just 23 years old and is insanely relatable to his fan base due to his cultural background? Ring a bell?
Oh, sorry, probably shouldn’t ring the bell too loud in case you were concussed as you wrote this:
“Donnie, we’re going to ruin the Dodgers. You with us?”
Honestly, when a car is engulfed in flames and the only uncertainty is if it’s going to go over the cliff before or after it blows up, who wouldn’t bail out?
OK, I’m only joking. I’m sure Friedman and Zaidi had no intention of ruining the Dodgers, no matter how much evidence there is now to the contrary.
I’ll tie this back to my previous few paragraphs. You know how the front office could really devastate this franchise? By trading away the ace they have under control for the next couple seasons (that Clayton Kershaw guy, who is currently in Cuba trying to relate to Yasiel Puig in the latter’s hometown). Basically, what the Marlins are doing with Fernandez to these very Dodgers.
But sure, heading to Miami is an absolute stroke of genius.
As if all this wasn’t enough already, Miller resorts to an attack he’d block someone on Twitter or Facebook for.
On Day One of the offseason, this team still would have been ranked among the top World Series contenders for 2016. This week, the latest odds came out and, where “L.A. Dodgers” should have been written, instead was “LOL Dodgers.”
Actually, the Dodgers were placed in the top ten with the fourth-best odds to win the World Series, but why let facts get in the way of this level of stupidity?
Miller then tries (and fails miserably) to tie Josh Hamilton to the Dodgers with the only connection being Greinke leaving the Angels and the move being to sign the right fielder. There was no mention of where Greinke went that very offseason or how he’s signing the largest contract ever given in MLB history given to a player at his age.
Again, those nagging facts, eh, Jeff?
The article continues with a few more stabs at the front office who would’ve made one of the most popular trades of the offseason if not for concerns over an alleged domestic violence incident on the part of Aroldis Chapman. Would you have preferred they went ahead with the trade so you could damn them for that, too, Jeff?
I would say passing on the trade because of the impending firestorm associated with this type of alleged crime would probably be the right move (just ask the Dallas Cowboys), but maybe that’s just me and my stupid morality. I guess I’ll have to apologize for that stance to my wife, mom and any daughters I might be lucky enough to have in my lifetime.
Miller also blames the front office for the Hisashi Iwakuma deal falling through, even though the factor most to blame is the due diligence associated with running the tests. Had the deal gone through and Iwakuma got hurt, I’d imagine Miller would’ve taken that opportunity to curse those wretched nerds and their math again.
Look, the offseason thus far has obviously been frustrating. I’d imagine Friedman and Zaidi would be the first to admit as such. Would I prefer to watch next season as a healthy Iwakuma pitches a day after Kershaw and Greinke, giving way to a bullpen combination of Chapman and Kenley Jansen? Of course I would.
Is all lost for a franchise with the consensus deepest farm system in Major League Baseball and a front office in its second season that is directly responsible for said farm system’s depth? Of course it isn’t.
Just don’t tell Jeff Miller. He might be allergic to facts.